Lament Not

Dedicated to the memory of Wendy & Travis

Lament not for me
Though my death at 23
Is by any definition tragedy
Free of body, free of pain
Free to move on now that my body is lain

Lament not for me
Though 24 the age I would be
And all the world open to me
Free of burden, free of sadness
Free now to a new life, for me feel gladness

Lament not for the dead
The soul moves on, so it is said
Though we know not where
Nor what form it may take
Always with us are the dead

We feel them in every memory
In every smile stirred by them
We feel them in the springtime breeze
We know them in the warmth of the sun
Love, like the energy of life, can never die

Shouldn't

My mind…
Though it shouldn’t
Thinks of you

My heart…
Though it shouldn’t…
Yearns for you

My dreams…
Though they shouldn’t…
Always turn to you

I wonder…
Even if I shouldn’t…
If you feel it too

The Children

They are children
Children playing unaware
The world is full of wonder
In these youthful eyes

They do not know they are starving
Or that they drink diseased water
They do not know a life
Lived any other way

They know the sound of gun shots
They know the threat it brings
But these children….
They don’t know why …neither do i…

They know that nature can be cruel
As time and time again
Their numbers dwindle
Death takes even the young

The bodies lie in mud
Their sisters, brothers, friends…
They see them piled up
A place of silent mourning

It’s the storm that takes them
It’s the gun that takes them
It’s the disease that takes them
It is death that takes them….

They live in huts
They live in villages
They become slaves
They become graves….

Children with dead eyes
To let them die this way
While the rich get richer…
It is beyond criminal…it is tragic….and it is real

Changing....

Ever the tide changes
And you…you change with it
Transformed into someone
Whom I can no longer recognize…..

The weather changes by the day
And you…you go as it goes
You are the storm
Then quickly as that you are the sun

We live through the weather
And we live through the tide
But, my love….
Living through you has come to an end

Cry For the Country

Cry for the country
The country of the dead
Cry for those whose thoughts have died
Who believe only thoughts given them
By those who would rule them

Cry for the country
The country of the dead
Cry for the death of knowledge
That was killed for the sake of fear
Fear used to control them

Cry for the country
The country of the dead
Cry for the death of freedom
Taken from them as they did nothing
Their paranoia rising above reason

Cry for the country
The country of the dead
Cry for the country neglected
The country that can still be saved
If only the dead would awake to save it

Not OK

Am I OK?

I’m not OK

Months gone by, but not OK

I’m not fine

I’m not smiling overjoyed

You changed all that for me

I’m not alone

But I am alone

In my heart, alone

Glowing?

No, the glow is gone

Replaced with pale

How can you be so happy?

How can you be so quick to let go

Was it all a lie?

I’m sorry you say…

Nothing more…

But sorry doesn’t unbreak my heart

You have denied me closure

Denied me hope

Denied me love

So,no…

I’m not OK, I’m not fine…

I’m lost and alone

Once I Dreamed...

Once I dreamed you loved me

I dreamed you whispered to me

And promised me your love forever

I dreamed you kissed me

In the most tender way

And promised me you wouldn’t leave me

Once I dreamed you held me

And we sat together, no words needed

Only gazing at each other, our eyes say it all

I dreamed you wanted me

Wanted me in every way

And wrote words of love to me

I’ve woken from that dream

And here you’ve left me

Alone and living in a nightmare

Faces of Ghosts

I’m sitting here

Watching faces of ghosts

Apparitions of times gone

I watch them

Wispy and faded these faces

They swirl around me, whispering

They call to me

An ethereal voice

They remind me

Everywhere they are

Faces of ghosts, voices of ghosts

Memories of times never again to be

I’m chasing them

These wandering ghosts

Every day I chase them

Running

My hands grasp out

But they slip through

I cry

For what now is out of my reach

For that which is dead

Faces of ghosts

They never go away

And neither does the pain

Done

Done.

Cried my last tear

Sighed my last sigh

Spent my last sleepless night

Over you.

Done.

With beating myself up

With wondering why

With feeling thrown away

Because of you.

Tired.

Of feeling hopeless

Of feeling lost

Of feeling sadness

After your rejection.

Tired.

From one-way effort

From playing guessing games

From all the feelings of hurt

Resulting from your silence.

Undone.

The pain I have felt

The misery I’ve lived

The confusion still left confused

None of it can be undone.

I Love The Way

I love the way…

Your eyes twinkle

As you tell me you love me

And the way they focus on me

When we lean in to kiss

I love the way….

Your laughter can make me smile

And it makes me laugh too

In spite of my mood

Like no one else can do

I love the way….

Your arms feel

When they are holding me

And your hands caress my arms

No words need be said

I love the way….

Your lips feel

When they are touching mine

And the tenderness and softness in your kiss

In that moment, no others exist in the world

I love the way….

We love each other

Always I will love you

And keep you in my heart

Treasuring every second I’m given to spend with you

If I Had Known

If I had known

The last time we kissed

Would be the last time

I would have memorized your lips

I would have closed my eyes

And remembered every detail

Remembered every touch of your hand

Memorized the feel of your breath

I would have held on to it

Never let it end

Let it last until

My heart ceased to beat

If I had known

The last touch of your hand

Would be the last touch

I would have memorized your hands

I would have traced each line

And memorized their place

Remembered every tender caress

Remembered their passion

If I had known

The last words we would say

I would have made them count

I would have poured out my soul

I would have memorized your voice

And every inflection and tone

I would have said everything

And made it memorable

If I had known

The last time you looked at me

Would be the last look

I would have memorized your face

I would have remembered every look

And every glance

I would have remembered the exact color of your eyes

And memorized the way you looked at me

But I did not know

And now the time has passed

And I’m left with all the pain

Of knowing you are gone from me

Living

A life not truly lived

Is an opportunity missed

An opportunity missed

Is a regret long suffered

A regret long suffered

Is a torturous pain

A torturous pain

Is a life full of sadness

We cannot live life

For the expectation of others

It only leaves us unfulfilled

And cannot be sustained

We cannot live life

With our hearts full of fear

It only leaves us fearful

With no true satisfaction

Love can guide us

If only we allow it

I Want

I want to scream

I want to shout

I want to yell

I want to stop the pain

I want to make it go away

I want to feel nothing

I want to think of something else

I want to erase it from my head

I want to rewind time

I want to know what it means to you

I want to know was it all a game

I want to know how you can be so cruel

I want you to hear

I want you to see

I want you to think and feel

What matter is it what I want

When there is only one thing I really want

And that one thing has gone from me

Sky Watching

Sky watching

So many stars, too many to count

Airplanes twinkle like stars

Shooting star

Making wishes, empty wishes

Wishes that never come true

Beautiful darkness

It encloses me, like a deep sleep

Or even an eternal sleep…

Comforting blackness

Embraced by it, kissed by it

Wrapped in the absolute of it

Night dreams

Shattered by the daylight

When everything is real again

Take Care

A heart, once broken

Not easy to mend

Once cast aside

Not easy to recall

A love rejected

Most often does not return

Once a heart moves on

Memory of past pain keeps it away

Take care

Before you close a door

Forever is a long time

To live with that regret

If...

If…

The wind stopped blowing

And the sun stopped shining

If…

The sky stopped raining

And the world stopped turning

If…

The trees stopped growing

And water stopped flowing

If…

My heart stopped beating

And my breath ceased to come

If…

Only if…

I might have your love again..

Shades of Color

Black, the color of my pain

Like the color of your love

That has left me broken

Left me without trust

Left me almost numb

Blue, the color of my mood

Like once was the color of my sky

That is now turned black

By my broken heart

Made to pieces by your silence

Red, the color of my anger

Made stronger by my sadness

Made irrelevant by your apathy

With the finger pointing back at me

For my stupidity

Shades of color

None made of beauty

All made from sorrow

The bitter truth turned shades of grey

How is it that I was blind…

Playing the Fool

Playing the fool

Over and over

Made a fool by you

A jester for the court

Playing the same jokes

Making myself a fool for you

A clown in your circus

Performing the same act

Hoping it’s enough

A side show attraction

Not seen by you as a person

But just another freak to laugh at

Can’t keep being the fool

Or the jester…or the clown…or the freak

Your apathy is a knife stabbing me

Waiting

Waiting…

For something that never comes

For a moment that is in the past

For a light bulb to go on

Waiting…

For a pain to go away

For time to heal a wound

For forgive and forget

Waiting…

For a call that never comes

For mail never sent

For a message not written

Waiting…

Why wait…always waiting

Trying to hold on

Needing to let go

Waiting…

No more..

Too late…goodbye..

The moment has passed us by

Goodbye

Say goodbye my dear

To the last of the light

It fades fast now

And quickly turns to night

The shadows cross the path ahead

And dance a macabre dance

And we are voyeurs here

Now falling into a trance

They looked upon us once

Favorably and with eyes full of hope

But now the spark is going out

It is all that we can do to cope

The further down the path we go

The harder to return it will be

Perhaps the light is behind us

And all we do is but turn around to see

Turn around before it is too late

Before this becomes our fate

This world absent of that love and so full of hate

We have not the time to wait

Freedom

How can we be free

If our souls are bought and sold

And our opinions are talking points

How can we think

When our minds are for sale to the highest bidder

And we no longer know which are our thoughts

How can we speak

When our voice has been taken

And our words are no longer our own

You have a mind, use it!

You have a voice, speak!

Freedom starts with you.

Undone

The thing you’ve done

It can’t be undone

The things you’ve said

They can’t be unsaid

The way you’ve felt

The feeling can’t be unfelt

Once a heart is broken

It can’t be unbroken

The trust you took

Cannot be returned

Time mends

But does not forget

Mist

Mist

It’s in the air today

It’s hanging heavy in the clouds

It’s heavy in me as well

Something boils inside

An anger that I cannot hide

A mist inside my mind

A hurt that eats the core

Sadness and anger

The sky is grim

I love the rain

It’s the wave of calm

Hurricane

HURRICANE

Hurricane coming in

Whirling winds

High tide

Rain

The fury of the storm

Batters us with its wind

Floods us over with its tide

Soaks us with its rain

There is a passion in me

That yearns with the fury of the storm

Whirling through my mind

Flooding me

You were there with me in the storm

Somewhere you were lost

I found you once before you drowned

Will I find you again?

The calmness of the eye

Wind dies

Tide calms

Nothing

Think of You

How can you stop the rain from falling

Or stop the sun from rising

How can a person stop the sky from fading into night

Or stop the seasons from turning.

It would be as easy to stop loving you

As for me to do any one of those things.

It would be as easy for me to forget you

As to turn night into day

Though many times I’ve said

Either aloud or just in my head

That I am at the end of the road

All I do is think of you to clear the thought away

Dreams

Dreams unrealized

Immaterialized, deconstructed

Shadowed and forgotten

Lost in the field of Reality

Dreams come true

Materialized, constructed

Out in the light, on the mind

Shining in the sky of Reality

Dreams shattered

Taken away, forbidden

Locked up and tortured

Pushed to the pit of Reality

Dreams still come

Despite the unpredictable outcome

Always Dream

There is no Reality without first a Dream

She

SHE

She….her face glows with jubilation…

Her smile brightens the room

Her laugh is contagious….

She….her struggles are not hers alone…

Her plight is not her lone burden to bear

Her struggle is my struggle…

She…Her image is an icon of strength…

Her life is one of uphill battles

Her image is my image….

She….her face is streaming with tears…

Her heart is breaking

Her face a distant image now fades away…