Once I Dreamed...

Once I dreamed you loved me

I dreamed you whispered to me

And promised me your love forever

I dreamed you kissed me

In the most tender way

And promised me you wouldn’t leave me

Once I dreamed you held me

And we sat together, no words needed

Only gazing at each other, our eyes say it all

I dreamed you wanted me

Wanted me in every way

And wrote words of love to me

I’ve woken from that dream

And here you’ve left me

Alone and living in a nightmare

Faces of Ghosts

I’m sitting here

Watching faces of ghosts

Apparitions of times gone

I watch them

Wispy and faded these faces

They swirl around me, whispering

They call to me

An ethereal voice

They remind me

Everywhere they are

Faces of ghosts, voices of ghosts

Memories of times never again to be

I’m chasing them

These wandering ghosts

Every day I chase them

Running

My hands grasp out

But they slip through

I cry

For what now is out of my reach

For that which is dead

Faces of ghosts

They never go away

And neither does the pain

Done

Done.

Cried my last tear

Sighed my last sigh

Spent my last sleepless night

Over you.

Done.

With beating myself up

With wondering why

With feeling thrown away

Because of you.

Tired.

Of feeling hopeless

Of feeling lost

Of feeling sadness

After your rejection.

Tired.

From one-way effort

From playing guessing games

From all the feelings of hurt

Resulting from your silence.

Undone.

The pain I have felt

The misery I’ve lived

The confusion still left confused

None of it can be undone.

I Love The Way

I love the way…

Your eyes twinkle

As you tell me you love me

And the way they focus on me

When we lean in to kiss

I love the way….

Your laughter can make me smile

And it makes me laugh too

In spite of my mood

Like no one else can do

I love the way….

Your arms feel

When they are holding me

And your hands caress my arms

No words need be said

I love the way….

Your lips feel

When they are touching mine

And the tenderness and softness in your kiss

In that moment, no others exist in the world

I love the way….

We love each other

Always I will love you

And keep you in my heart

Treasuring every second I’m given to spend with you

If I Had Known

If I had known

The last time we kissed

Would be the last time

I would have memorized your lips

I would have closed my eyes

And remembered every detail

Remembered every touch of your hand

Memorized the feel of your breath

I would have held on to it

Never let it end

Let it last until

My heart ceased to beat

If I had known

The last touch of your hand

Would be the last touch

I would have memorized your hands

I would have traced each line

And memorized their place

Remembered every tender caress

Remembered their passion

If I had known

The last words we would say

I would have made them count

I would have poured out my soul

I would have memorized your voice

And every inflection and tone

I would have said everything

And made it memorable

If I had known

The last time you looked at me

Would be the last look

I would have memorized your face

I would have remembered every look

And every glance

I would have remembered the exact color of your eyes

And memorized the way you looked at me

But I did not know

And now the time has passed

And I’m left with all the pain

Of knowing you are gone from me

Living

A life not truly lived

Is an opportunity missed

An opportunity missed

Is a regret long suffered

A regret long suffered

Is a torturous pain

A torturous pain

Is a life full of sadness

We cannot live life

For the expectation of others

It only leaves us unfulfilled

And cannot be sustained

We cannot live life

With our hearts full of fear

It only leaves us fearful

With no true satisfaction

Love can guide us

If only we allow it

I Want

I want to scream

I want to shout

I want to yell

I want to stop the pain

I want to make it go away

I want to feel nothing

I want to think of something else

I want to erase it from my head

I want to rewind time

I want to know what it means to you

I want to know was it all a game

I want to know how you can be so cruel

I want you to hear

I want you to see

I want you to think and feel

What matter is it what I want

When there is only one thing I really want

And that one thing has gone from me

Sky Watching

Sky watching

So many stars, too many to count

Airplanes twinkle like stars

Shooting star

Making wishes, empty wishes

Wishes that never come true

Beautiful darkness

It encloses me, like a deep sleep

Or even an eternal sleep…

Comforting blackness

Embraced by it, kissed by it

Wrapped in the absolute of it

Night dreams

Shattered by the daylight

When everything is real again

Take Care

A heart, once broken

Not easy to mend

Once cast aside

Not easy to recall

A love rejected

Most often does not return

Once a heart moves on

Memory of past pain keeps it away

Take care

Before you close a door

Forever is a long time

To live with that regret

If...

If…

The wind stopped blowing

And the sun stopped shining

If…

The sky stopped raining

And the world stopped turning

If…

The trees stopped growing

And water stopped flowing

If…

My heart stopped beating

And my breath ceased to come

If…

Only if…

I might have your love again..

Shades of Color

Black, the color of my pain

Like the color of your love

That has left me broken

Left me without trust

Left me almost numb

Blue, the color of my mood

Like once was the color of my sky

That is now turned black

By my broken heart

Made to pieces by your silence

Red, the color of my anger

Made stronger by my sadness

Made irrelevant by your apathy

With the finger pointing back at me

For my stupidity

Shades of color

None made of beauty

All made from sorrow

The bitter truth turned shades of grey

How is it that I was blind…

Playing the Fool

Playing the fool

Over and over

Made a fool by you

A jester for the court

Playing the same jokes

Making myself a fool for you

A clown in your circus

Performing the same act

Hoping it’s enough

A side show attraction

Not seen by you as a person

But just another freak to laugh at

Can’t keep being the fool

Or the jester…or the clown…or the freak

Your apathy is a knife stabbing me